


Gone

by Lady_Anthea



Series: Abecedarium [7]
Category: Dark Angel
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Difficult Decisions, F/M, Gen, and jesus brought a casserole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-12
Updated: 2013-05-12
Packaged: 2017-12-11 16:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/800927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Anthea/pseuds/Lady_Anthea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan could enounce a thousand reasons why this was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone

**Author's Note:**

> This was some sort of spur of the moment thing. Among my ficlets I hadn't found one that could suit the needs of letter G and now it's kind of good because it'll help me get things going with the next one. Set during the ending of And Jesus Brought a Casserole. It certainly goes AU after that.

Gone:  _adj._  No longer existing, having passed; dead.

Logan could enounce a thousand reasons why this was wrong.

The first one was, Max's head wasn't supposed to loll lifeless to its side.

The moment Lydecker reached them didn't register in his brain, until he saw the older man's hand in his vision field, cradling her slender neck for a pulse. Within the second, he withdrew, sighing as he spoke, "She's gone."

An awful sense of finality came down to him as the words were said, like he'd been trying to deny the fact that was lying before his eyes. And it was a fact he couldn't tear his gaze away from her face, waiting for the never-coming instant Max's eyes would open again, the moment life would go on.

He felt numb, dumbfounded. Incomplete.

 _This is a joke_ , Logan thought, his mind wandering aimlessly until it came across the events– _memories–_ of the previous day. The awkward start of their evening. The glint of excitement in her chocolate orbs. The feeling of her hair threading in his fingers. The taste of her lips against his.

The realization that everything would be alright.

All of that suddenly snatched away from him. And try as he might, his arms weren't long enough to grab a hold of his life again.

He tried to focus on her, to ignore the pang in his chest that kept growing deeper as the seconds went by. Objectivity was a concept that, as a journalist, he was familiar with. Yes, he would cling into that. He had to detach himself from his feelings and analyze this situation with a cold head. Because there had to be something,  _anything_ , that he could do for her...

 _Oh, yes_ , he realized. There was something.

He hadn't intended to voice his plan, but he had yet to acknowledge he was way out of his league and could no longer control himself anymore. "I'm going to get her back inside. They can fix her up in there," he mumbled as his own dead legs struggled to get them both up.

Lydecker's negative came almost immediately, and it nearly stopped him. "Listen, I know how you feel, son, but you've got to let her go." Oh, he could feel the understanding and knew the reasons behind his words; he'd read Lydecker's file, after all, and knew about his wife's demise.

And he was right. He knew Lydecker was right and it was making everything harder. Because nothing good would come from that, he was going to lead her back to hell and yet–there was no other choice. It was that or leaving her dead, and the thought of life without her, even when he'd just caught a glimpse of what it would be with her, was simply unbearable.

His own reflexes surprised him in a way they never had before. His gun pointed toward the colonel as he prepared to knock Logan with his own, stopping him barely in time. "I can't just abandon her," he stated, staring straight into the older man's eyes.

Lydecker recoiled, but held his gaze. "You don't know if it's possible to bring her back. And even if it is," and there he paused, as if he were to share an abhorrent thought, "she won't just walk away. No one better than me to tell you, Max will be put through the worse you can imagine. She probably won't be the same."

He shut his eyes as the horror of his plan dawned in him, opening them right after he reminded himself that he couldn't give Lydecker a single moment of advantage. But the colonel kept his cool demeanor, certainly decided not to try anything that could trigger a negative– _stupid_ –reaction from him. "She's the strongest person I've ever met," Logan said, feeling the resolution coming back to him, "and she did this before, when she was just a girl. I'm sure she'll be able to get out once again."

"What about you?" Lydecker asked.

Well, that was a something he hadn't considered. He shuddered at the endless possibilities; it was most likely that he wouldn't be spared.

But it hardly mattered. He didn't count, at least not in that moment, in that situation. It was Max's life on the line, and that was beyond anything else - up in a pedestal, too precious to waste.

He swallowed the last of his doubts and stood, towering over Lydecker as he held the lifeless body in his arms. "I just have to try."

Lydecker nodded, once, then stepped back. "Then she's going to need our help later," and with that, he retreated, his darkened form disappearing between the trees.

Logan remained glued to his spot for over a minute, then turned his back and started walking in the direction of Manticore.

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't entirely sure Lydecker would just walk away, but I think he's actually the one who would understand Logan's motives, now that they've been through the same situation. Not to mention, he could actually be a valuable asset to get Max out of Manticore, when the time arrives.
> 
> Also, I'm kind of a bit tired, so I apologize for any remaining mistakes.
> 
> The next piece will be H for Heartless. It's also sort of my response to Replica Velocity's challenge (writer of the amazing fic Damaged, which you can find in FFN). That's all I'm gonna say ;) (though it still requires a lot of editing. I have bits written there and there).


End file.
